Many of us are on social media. We see people’s lives everyday by pictures and status updates, but do we really know their life? A lot of people will comment, you are such a great mom…the kids are so lucky. You have such a perfect marriage. You have such an awesome house that always looks so clean straight out of a magazine, I want it. Do they really know my life? NO.
You see with social media, you only see a glimpse of a person’s day, including mine. That’s a split second of my day. Literally a blink of an eye. That’s 1 second of the 86,400 seconds of my day. I’ll compare it to photo shoots because I know we’ve all been there. Those pictures of your children with all smiles that you show off to your friends, and then they tell you how good your child must have been. In reality, you KNOW how they really were. Then you explain to them how it really went, and they tell you “YEAH RIGHT! I’m sure they weren’t that bad.” Not bad? You were bribing them everything you could think of. You were sweating trying to get them all to stay in 1 place. You were acting like a crazy person behind the photographer just so you could get some smiles out of them. Last but not least, you apologize to the photographer NUMEROUS TIMES, and you hope they got a few smiles from the entire session.
That scenario right there is how social media is. They see a picture and assume how your life is but in reality they have it all wrong.
Yes, I can tell you how my house is usually a pit with toys and food crumbs everywhere (who’s idea was it to get dark colored flooring anyways? Oh wait, it was me!). I can also tell you how my kids drive me crazy sometimes that I want to pull out my hair. Those things everyone can talk about freely. What people don’t like to talk about? Their marriage when things go wrong.
A couple weeks ago, I had the worst 5 days ever. You would never know looking at my newsfeed. You see everything was just so dandy before this. I had a fantastic weekend with the kids and hubby. We went to church on Sunday, and I had a girls night out on Monday evening. No one would have even known I had the worst 5 days ever, except Niña and my brother-in-law since they live with us. Boy did they feel awkward. My husband and I got in a HUGE fight. You see marriage is tough. When people get married, I think to myself…I really hope they make it! I’m cheering for them because they don’t know how much of a roller coaster ride it can be. You go through so many ups with a few sprinkles of downs. Then add in kids that take up your time away from your husband. Most of the time everything is just so dandy and then BOOM you hit a wall. It’s just making sure you both climb over that wall together. Most of the time when we fight, we get over it and laugh it off. This was not the case. We didn’t talk to each other for 5 days. You read that right. Not 5 minutes. Not 5 hours. FIVE DAYS. Think about your marriage. Imagine going to bed at night with no goodnight kiss. Waking up in the morning and no exchanges of “have a great day.” Taking care of the kids with no communication except only a few words. Completely ignoring each other like you don’t care about the person’s feelings.
How many married couples have gotten in an argument because of lack of communication…or having miscommunication?! Probably a lot of you. My husband and I are guilty of this especially in this situation. We write everything on our marker board calendar that’s in the kitchen, have a google calendar that pops up on our phones, and talk all the time. How in the heck did we get in an argument? Our situation right now probably doesn’t help either. My husband goes to work full time and is also going back to school and is attending night classes a couple nights a week. This means that I don’t get help from him like I usually do and 2 days a week I see him in the morning and see him again late at night before we go to bed.
During the day before our argument, we didn’t get to talk as much as we usually do… I was busy with the kids, and he was busy with work. Well, we both mentally made plans for that night and one of us of course didn’t get to do what they were planning on. In this instance, we each believed our own plans was more important than the other person’s. We got in an argument raising our voices at each other. What the toughest thing to do when you get in an argument with someone? Saying sorry. It’s so crazy though, right? We tell our kids to right away say sorry if they hurt someone. I’m hard headed. I will admit it. My husband is always the first one to say sorry. He didn’t this time. He knows that I’m like this, and he wasn’t going to give in and say sorry first…not this time. I remember praying for strength throughout those days because I don’t like to give in especially when I think I’m right. Well, God answered. I initiated the “I’m sorry convo.” This was truly tough for me, but I knew this wasn’t healthy and that he was teaching me a lesson. I had to step back and realized it was my fault too. Let’s be real, 5 days?! Who does that? I missed chatting, laughing, and feeling connected with my husband. He did too. It was the worst 5 days of our marriage, but what came out of it was an amazing convo and even stronger relationship. Niña’s exact words during those 5 days: You’ll be looking back at this and say ‘well, that was dumb.’ I can look back at that situation and say that it totally sucked but I’m glad it happened. Even if we drive each other crazy at times, we’re stuck like glue. 😉
The next time you see a picture of my kids, my house, my husband and I… don’t assume it’s all roses and rainbows on the other side of your computer. I go through this roller coaster ride called life like everyone else. Some of us are just in different parts of the ride…if it’s going up, falling down, or the twist and turns.